A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man


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Well, he also said you were a closet homosexual who wanks over Riverman and only decided to take over the world so he could try to get it on with him! Mah cock is enormous. You are just a dumb goon wiz a cock like a party frankfurter. He is pushed up against the wall by an invisible force. Ah will kill you. Ze bad guy always kills a goon.

He turns around and Gary crumples to the ground, gasping. Gary uses his trademark karate chop and Poulette collapses. He returns a moment later with the cask wine. Damn right I would. This is for docking my pay every time I take a second bathroom break! This is for the poor living conditions, and this is for making me work on Christmas twelve years running, and this is for using Alfredo as a human shield.

Alfredo was a good bloke! They drop Poulette and stand up. Gary checks his pulse. Whatever evil plan Poulette was trying to hatch has just been boiled. Blarney, I can assure you we will not be considered heroes. We might as well skip the middle bit and continue doing whatever it was Poulette was doing. We can be the good guys for a change. I say we … destroy ze werld! Ja, du can call me Herr Huhn! Ich hasse dir, Riverman. Gary tries his karate chop and misses.

Blarney blocks nothing and takes a wild swing, missing. Gary tries his move again and Blarney tries his, but they are unable to connect. They continue swinging and missing then run out of energy. There are three loud bangs and Blarney collapses. Gary throws the gun to the ground and walks away.

He stops near the edge of the stage to adjust his suit. Blarney picks up the gun and stands. I think you forgot something. Your gun is calibrated to the left. You were aiming right at me. I killed him because no one would have expected it. What would I do with a fly? Well, you have saved his life, monsieur We can certainly make arrangements for this fly. He needn't be your concern. Do not think again of this fly. Be assured, this fly will live out his days in comfort.

The comfort of soup. All I really want is another Monsieur, what have you ordered for you next course?

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10 Minute Plays by Stephen Bittrich :: ONE-ACT PLAYS :: CORYBUNGUS

Like you have died and gone to You may assume that, yes. That is a "no"? Really, what I most desire You have a desire, monsieur? You need only ask. One without the fly. You would like your soup returned to it's original fly free condition. If you will permit me, I can remove the fly I have seen to it! The chef was quite upset. I didn't want to upset the chef.


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It is your right to upset the chef. You have a grievance. Don't concern yourself with this chef, monsieur. As insignificant as a I don't wish for you to kill anybody Ahh, monsieur, you have the heart of a saint. Why on earth would I kill the fly? You forgive them all. Yes, very well, thank you. How silly of me. A cow is not sublime. No, I don't think that's it. You contradict the customer? It does not sound correct: You're not really attacking me. Maybe I should go home. Obviously this whole bomb and gun thing has nothing to do with me.

Why don't you do just that, with our apologies, of course. We can't always predict Why would you want to go home? An empty house you can't pay for? How long until the repo men come and cart that monstrosity away? I know for a fact Mr. Alec Furbee, your soon to be ex, did not finish paying off the mortgage, which this bank holds. He very generously put that in your name, by the way, did you know that? That means, if the loan defaults, you pay, it's your credit report it goes on He said he took my name off. Can I get my name off that loan thingie today??

That is not important right now. We're trying to fix this-- [Nods head at Tyler's chest and the gun. Why don't you wake up, wise up and figure out a few things yourself instead of depending on us men to take care of you ad nauseum???!! I'm so tired of needy, bitchy, high-maintenance bitches. Ambrose looks away from both, whistles or blows air out.

I have very poor responses to stressers. That was uncalled for. I think that's the first honest thing you've ever said, not that last part, that was all cover your ass and cover up the body stuff. So both of you cocksuckers are after me now?? This is what I think they call a learning moment, a teachable time. Yes, you're a cartoon, you're a cautionary tale, not even a real person. It's a new century.

And you still don't see the patterns developed by powerful men toward rather stupid, greedy, young Of course I see them Are you going to blow us up? I really don't wish to be blown up.

SINGERS by Thom Weidlich

Did your wife really kill herself over some arthritis?? She killed herself over some future she couldn't live with. And if you care to continue discussing this, I am going to stick this up your vajayjay and pull the trigger. You want to blow us all up? Tyler sits back in his chair, regards Ambrose closely. Then swings his gaze to Mrs. Nods, keeps nodding as he fumbles at his chest, obviously looking for the correct button to push.

What are you doing?? I don't want to blow up!! Nothing happens to the three on stage, Ambrose freezes in place. Furbee turns around in circles examining herself. Tyler examines the papers on his desk. Takes a swing from Jack Daniels bottle. How come I'm not in a billion pieces? I heard an explosion. I think we're dead. He takes another swig.


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  6. Any moment you two should go AWAY. But I heard an explosion. Shirley is still over there counting the wrong amounts of money She's a terrible teller. You, Tyler, are one of the best tellers. People like you when you take their deposits I don't see Shirley. I see a big black nothingness. What do you see, Mrs. Both of you need to leave. Are we blown up or what?? That would be ridiculous. Death is very personal. We would not all be here together if we were dead.

    We two would be in heaven, while Tyler here would be in hell, for blowing up the bank and all the innocent people. That's how that works. Of course it's how that works. You blow up innocent people, you go to hell. It doesn't matter if you're Catholic or Buddhist. Or an Oregon Beavers fan. I hate the Beavers. What kind of a mascot is a fucking duck?? A beaver could take a duck any day of the week Green and gold is ugly together. At least it's not Halloween colors. Maybe I'm the one who's getting punished.

    How do you write a good 10-minute play?

    Which is really not fair. You two seem very comfortable here. I just wanted it to be quiet and dark. I didn't want company. At least we're not named for a woman's body part.

    How to Write a 10-Minute Play: The 10-Minute Play By Pete Malicki

    Oh yeah, I went there. Fighting over Oregon college teams?? I made a real bomb. I blew us up. I blew out the side of the building most likely. I simply don't accept that. Let's fix this mess.

    A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man
    A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man
    A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man
    A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man
    A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man
    A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man
    A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man
    A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man A Ten Minute Play - What I Want from a Man

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