But really kiss him. So take the initiative and kiss him. Kiss him like you mean it.
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And see what happens. L — Leave the lights on. Need I say more? As a man, your husband is visually wired. M — Make his favorite meal or dessert. So let him know you care and whip up what he loves to eat. Food is still good foreplay when it comes to men. N — Notice the little things. Make your observation into a compliment not a complaint. O — Offer to do one thing that will make his day go smoother. You might be surprised at how simple his one request is — pick up his suit at the drycleaners, pack him a lunch, pray for him during a crucial meeting?
Just offering to do something for him will show him your heart is tuned toward his needs. P- Plan a surprise for him. Men are, at times, like little boys.staging.golftoday.pbc.io/diw-mariner-manual-encima.php
26 Ways to Become Irresistible to Your Husband
They love surprises and spontaneity if at the appropriate time. Q — Quit directing, correcting, and controlling. That one came from my husband and I tried not to take it personally! It will show him that you do believe in him and his ability to handle a situation. R — Respect who he is and what he does.
He needs that from you more than you realize. Be unpredictable, but in a good way. Suggest you eat somewhere you never have. Wear a color you never have before. Go outside your comfort zone and take a risk with him. U — Use a soft voice with him. Few men are attracted to loud and boisterous. Talking softly conveys femininity. I agree with Ali I would like to see an article on how to deal with his defensiveness. He sees it as disrespect. Thank you for your article. Is the husband not sinning? Then taken to the Church?
He is very selfish but very hard working and provides for all my material needs. My spiritual, emotional, mental and some physical needs are as you say provided by my loving relationship with God. Is this life style easy, no… But this life is so short when I set it next to eternity with my savior. As one in marriage, you do have dreams and hopes that can turn to idols. Letting go of these idols and finally understanding that those dreams will never occur and then allowing God to rebuild within you new visions new dreams, life eternal dreams that are between you and God this becomes my greatest reward.
Can I be a post man, of course. God has called me to love the unloveable. Cathy… Thank you sooo much! I loved you until you chose to start a relationship with me. Can you not choose to love me through him? But I have a much closer relationship with my Heavenly Father because of my selfish husband. It seems that articles giving this type of guidance is usually written by a man. My husband lives as if the world revolves around him through his words and actions.
I find it hard to feed his attitude even more. It is very frustrating and tiring. Great article but it seems pretty advanced for the audience who finds themselves in these kinds of marriages. I lack boundaries, he bulldozes over them. But there are very few counselors who are equipped to navigate this topic, especially in more severe cases like mine. You most likely will have to do your own research and develop a massive trust in the Lord to reveal things to you. I was married to a selfish spouse. The selfishness eventually led to him having an affair that he would not give up.
I learned mostly before it got to that level , what this article states. God challenged me to be the best wife I could be in spite of what I did or did not receive from this man.
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I knew God was asking me to be willing to be the primary source of His love to this man. I wish I could say the marriage turned around and we are living happily ever after. One wife and five children, devastated…. It was only after the marriage dissolved that I came to learn that there is actually a clinical term called a narcissistic personality, that described my husband. But, like in anything else, I remember my God, and my mind is renewed as I embrace a greater truth: I have been changed for the better forever.
God wants us to have thriving marriages and many other wonderful things. Sandpaper never feels good. Only God Himself can satisfy us! He created us to first please Him. God helped me to win my husband to Himself! I read all these comments and they made me so sad! I have been married for 4 years.
My husband and I both have our selfish moments but we both realized in the first year that being married is a commitment to common ground. The selfish lifestyle you lived your whole life up to being married is now over. Now you both have to compromise and share different life tasks in the relationship. I know are marriage is still young and I have more to learn and grow from but I have one question. Why stay with a man that makes you so unhappy? Give me a real answer. Here is my real answer. I believe marriage is ordained of God.
I made a commitment to God, to my husband, and to each child I brought into this world thereafter to honor that commitment. I put my all into it, into serving my family, and striving to create a loving environment in which my children could grow in the love and admonition of the Lord. Yes, my husband was selfish for 20 years, but I looked for things to be grateful for.
I have since learned to believe in my own worth and trust my gut. But what better way for my chi! Why do we stay? Our answers are each personal. But for me, love and commitment ARE real answers. Today is my birthday and what a wonderful gift of spiritual wisdom your article is to me. This article is heaven sent!!!!
His timing is always prompt and His ways are always good!! God bless you and all wIves reading this. What if not only is he selfish, but he does not provide and I do it all. From paying bills, to mowing, taking out the trash. I am even his form of transportation and he does not even put gas in my car.
I am 7 months pregnant and very exhausted pulling this full load, how could I possibly stay positive. Please, have a pastor talk to him. This sounds worse than mere selfishness. I am in a relationship with someone who fits this to a tee! Any advice is appreciated! Please, brothers and sisters, if you are in a selfish marriage, look into wether or not it is actually destructive or abusive, and take care to create healthy boundaries! It does not honor God to enable sin! Matthew 18 outlines and advocates godly confrontation of sin. Domestic abuse hides in the church under doctrine like submission and headship and dying to self, grace, forgiveness and love when it is twisted to justify abuse.
Yes, let me say that again: God would never expect you to stay with an abusive spouse. Do you remember what Jesus said about how men are to truly love their wives? God loves you more than you can imagine so of course he wants you to be your best: However and unfortunately, sometimes people take things to the extreme. Abuse is one of them, physical and emotional. My heart broke to read some of the comments of the marriages some women are in. Do you really think a loving God would want you to allow your husband to treat you like that? And what about your children?
Please my dear sisters in Christ, do not waste your precious life enabling a terrible husband.
Ah, but a holy GOD…the God of the bible would. Your covenant is not simply with your husband, it is also a covenant with God. That was deep and God definitely set this post in my Pinterest feed to read. After reading through the entire article and all the responses, I feel it was God talking to me. I am in deed married to a selfish spouse.
This is my second marriage my first marriage ended when my husband announced he was gay, and only married me because he wanted to be straight. Sometimes I think, I am treated more like a roommate than a wife of 21 years. I used to blame myself, because I felt, I wanted to be loved so badly I would accept any kind of treatment. At times I even wondered if I was flawed because I did not receive the love I needed, and craved.
I would allow him to put his needs first, because I wanted a Godly marriage -where I put my husband first. Over the years, I sat back and watched him treat his family and his children better, than mine. I allowed him to buy himself the best of things while I settled for 2nd hand items, or was satisfied with little. We both worked, and we bought provided, We had separate accounts with money, because he did not trust me. He did provide for me the basic necessities, but if I wanted anything else I was expected to get it for myself.
I was expected to care for my own children, although he did pay for the home and insurance. I just kept on trying to rely on God to satisfy my needs, that were not being met my husband. I felt It was working until he retired and I was still working, I thought now he will have the time, and be more attentive to my needs. Instead, I began to resent him. I saw him giving time and generosity to others but not me. It made me jealous and angry. I prayed to God to adjust my attitude again, and be a good wife. I prayed for my husbands happiness and kept reminding myself that he worked hard for years and deserves to have more time for himself.
I began to treat him as he treated me, more like a good roommate. We look good on the outside, but I am feeling alone and hurt on the inside.
Again, I would just justify things, telling myself, that God will take care of me. It was good for a while, until now, when my place of employment -cut my hours, and eventually let me go, because business is so bad. So now I have no income to take care of myself. Now I feel devastated and unsure what to do.
Of course I am praying and asking God to provide for me. I know while I am almost 60 and still able to do some kind of work, I feel its is silly to work, when my husband has been retired for almost 5 years and has money in the bank to provide for both of us. He continues to spend money on himself, and keeps on doing as he pleases, all while he expects me to go find a new job. I am happy to keep giving him -what he needs, I love him, and want to be the postal worker, and I rely on God to satisfy my needs, and have lived as a selfless person my entire life.
I work daily on my anger issues, and try not to resent my husband, but its hard. I do not want his selfishness to change who I am, but at what point do I get to see some rewards? Some fruits for my labor? I have had counseling before and I have begged my husband to also go, but he refuses. I guess it was assuring to hear I am not alone with this problem. Thanks for the article, and all the responses, I will continue to trust God, and try not to let all of these things change who I am. Any advice on what I should do next would be helpful?
We survived his affair, and my financial infidelity. Laid it all out in the open five years ago and things got better. Actually things got great between us. We laughed, loved and were truly making each other a priority. Just this morning I woke a few minutes later than normal and was packing his lunch when he stormed downstairs in a terrible mood. I hurriedly put everything in his lunch pail and he burst out yelling about me always making him late for work. I was stunned and just stared at him and said sorry.
He threw his lunch pail across the room and it smashed into a side table knocking my wooden cross and photo frame to the ground. Then yelled some more, went and grabbed his lunch and out it back in the box and left for work leaving the mess on the floor. About an hour later I received a call saying he was sorry for being such a jerk. I prayed for me and for him. I forgave his, with grace. What do I do? Continue on as a postal delivery? When we are good.. But when we are not good..
I, too, am married to a selfish spouse. We have been married for 19 years, but none of his selfish behavior presented itself until 7 years ago. Suddenly, everything became my responsibility as the sole breadwinner. I cut expenses to the bone and started picking up an extra 12 hour shift per week. Last year, I was diagnosed with renal cancer in May and had surgery in August to remove the tumor and part of a kidney.
I have prayed for the Lord to heal us, our marriage, to strengthen me and to help my husband to make wise decisions. How do I start the discussion with him about what the Lord says a husband and fathers responsibility to his family is? Should I even attempt that? My husband is a Christian, but it feels as if he gave up on my daughter and me.
However, I felt compelled to share my opinion. I do agree that you should never let anyone steal your joy or victory. So, that brings me to my comment. Nonbelievers can have a giving heart. My desire to help, love and please others is who I am. Yes, God made me that way. Because even as a child, that was my heart. This is my 2nd marriage and I picked two very different men, however, both are selfish. My cup is empty. I do get your point to some degree. But even she got down. Why suffer when all I have ever wanted was simply to be loved by my spouse?
Am I simply unloveable? I find myself questioning, what am I doing wrong? My love broke up 6 months ago and left me heartbroken, this made me sick and my problem became very very difficult and it made me almost gave up but after the love spell from DR AROMO, my relationship was restored instantly, I was happy that the outcome was fantastic my wife came back with much love for me, only 3 days after DR AROMO started it all.
Never in my life have I thought this would work so fast. My WOMAN reconcile with me and she started acting completely different, we make love everyday last weekend, was fun cause i missed her so much. I can now say I feel happy once again, and like never before. I am commenting because I deal with this daily.
Having 2 boys makes it difficult. But all he puts forth is his half of the bills and my income goes to groceries, my medical and kids medical, clothing, schoolsupplies, etc. Not only that but I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. Before I was married to him, I was financially stable.
I had my own home I own, car paid off, money in savings. I paid cash for our wedding. But I pray every day to keep pushing through. At what point is enough enough. I do everything so he can work his long hours and not have to worry about the house and the kids, but there is no return.
I feel like marriage was the most financially irresponsible choice I ever made. And I still seem to feel like a single mother. I feel for you- not in as bad a shape but I do understand- something the se who have never been in these shoes can only attempt to comment on how much you need to hang in there. With God we can but there is more much more and one of the biggest lies is you are not worthy to have more from your spouse nor do you have the right to ask the Lord for it. Dear Bt- I truly hope you see this and heed the following words: Your husband has been using and manipulating you to take his responsibility as a father.
You have been taking financial responsibility for his child which by legal definition would constitute child support payments to a former spouse. He has preyed upon your tender heart knowing that you will do what is right by his son while he does not-he is feeling vindicated. Why seek legal counsel? You need support and help to look at the situation objectively and legally.
Eventually with Counsel present whether legal or pastor- not a family member, not alone and not when the kids are not present, it is imperative this be confronted and he understands he is responsible. Secondly there needs to be a clear understanding of what his plans are as far as banking his money and using yours. He eats, sleeps, uses the home, etc therefor he is just as much responsible for not only the financial care of the family but to be invested as a husband and a father- not using his son as a pawn to control your heart leaving you feeling guilty and responsible.
This may all seem extremely harsh and will draw criticism from some, however, scripture does not call us to to be suckers but to be strong: Doing nothing will continue to empower him and weaken your position, trust and love. Thank the Lord for your tender heart, thank him for the opportunity to show this child the love he is not getting from his father, thank him for what he is about to give you the strength to do.
Are You Married to a Selfish Spouse? - for the family
Pray for your husband to be humbled and surrender to the Lord- his surrender to the Lord is number one for all of you. You can and do have the right and responsibility to go to your heavenly father and present these petitions before him. You are valued and believing you have no right to ask of him to change your husbands selfish sinful behavior is a lie.
Pray, it may take a long time but pray and thank the Lord for every step along the way. Though you are feeling very alone and helpless you are in the presence of the Lord who is mighty. I am celebrating and do not know where to start testifying. I have never seen a man as kind, wonderful, caring and helpful like Lord Kakabu.
I am a living testimony of his wonderful work and i have made vow to my self that i will testify about him as long as i live. My wife told me that she needs a divorce despite all the caring and attending i gave to her, i tried to begged her but she refused and went ahead with the divorce and ever since then i did not set my eye on her again.
Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem? Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. How to Submit to Your Husband Joyfully: Using Scripture and self-evaluation tools, Robertson leads wives, as well as single women who desire to prepare for marriage, through a series of reflections and her own testimonial anecdotes to better enable them to see their husbands or prospective spouses throug In How to Submit to Your Husband Joyfully , Cassandra Robertson presents her solutions for a healthy marriage.
Paperback , 80 pages. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. Lists with This Book. This book is not yet featured on Listopia. I will start by Saying I am not practicing Christianity. Having said that I am open to read anything with common sense sense regardless tbd religion it comes from.
I consider myself a strong women a d defiantly not submissive. I order the book to see if I might Learn something to improve N already good marriage.
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