How to Recover from Grief


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And Here’s Something That Will Get You Out of Bed…

And our biggest wish is that you get to the point where you don't need us anymore. Then "pay it forward" by recommending "recover-from-grief. Curious about this website? That is not advisable or healthy. It's a place for you to come when you feel the need. Here you will find many comforting ideas and creative techniques to help you cope and recover from grief loss.

As long as you are moving, changing, creating, expressing, doing something; your grief and sorrow will proceed in a healthy manner. Once again, our profound sympathy to you in your loss. This website is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.

What are affiliate links? Initially I looked for answers explaining the completely helpless, mindless and distraught feelings. Writing helped vent those feelings. Responding to others also helped a great deal. I was surfing the web the other night looking for wording to place on my fathers headstone and came across your site. Instead of continuing to search for wording, I was pulled into reading the stories online and then entered my own loss. It was a blessing, you have given me an opportunity to voice what's been in my head for so long and unable to say to anyone.

Thank you again and I wish you all the very best. Thank you for creating it. I lost my mum about 9 months ago, and was having a real weepy when I came across your site. Your website is fantastic and I know it has helped millions of people and will continue to help so many more. It really has given me an insight into directing my grief into a positive manner. I will return to tell Mum's story when I feel ready to do so. But these feelings will eventually appear in unhealthy ways like depression, anxiety, and anger. When you feel teary, let yourself cry.

How Long Does Grief Last? - The Grief Recovery Method

In fact, emotional tears get rid of stress hormones and other harmful toxins caused by stress. I am a talker and must share my feelings in order to heal. Other people are more private about their pain and grief.

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But talking out problems, especially in a safe and supportive environment, has proven to promote self-healing through emotional disclosure. Talk therapy with a trained counselor is tremendously beneficial in dealing with grief and loss. Talk therapy allows you to discuss issues that may be too difficult or painful to discuss with other people in your life and to process and work through these issues with a detached third party.

In fact, talk therapy has proven to be more effective than antidepressants in treating mood disorders.

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Talking with close and supportive friends and family members certainly can be helpful as well, but they are often too close to you and the situation to provide unbiased assistance. If you don't think you can afford counseling, check out this information on finding free or low cost therapy.


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When you are experiencing grief and loss, your energy and mood are low. You may have physical pains, headaches, anxiety, crying spells and other symptoms of grief. Instead, give yourself a break.

Coping with Grief: Guided Spoken Meditation for healing after a loss of a loved one

Treat yourself lovingly and gently. Do what feels comforting and familiar. Take a bath or a long walk. Listen to peaceful music. Go to a funny movie. Eat a big bowl of soup. When you are feeling sad, try to stay away from alcohol or other depressants. They will only make you feel worse.

Also, stay away from sad or upsetting movies or television. Try not to isolate yourself. Spend time with friends and family, even if it's just to have them nearby. In spite of your loss, there are many good things in your life.

Learn how to recover from the shock of loss and reinvent yourself.

Remind yourself of these. If someone close to you has died, write down good memories and qualities of that person.


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If you are going through a divorce, remind yourself of the blessings the marriage brought to you. If you are going through a change, look for the positive aspects of this change that you can eventually enjoy. Grief and pain seem to overwhelm all aspects of our lives, and we forget that we have so many good things around us. Even if you aren't feeling grateful, acknowledge those good things. The positive feelings will eventually follow. As you know, grieving is a process. Depending on the cause of your grief and loss, you may go through a variety of stages before you finally work through it.

Disbelief, anger, resistance, denial, acceptance, and healing can all be part of the process of grieving a loss. Don't be surprised by your feelings or try to talk yourself out of them. Allow yourself to feel them and acknowledge them, and eventually they will pass. Feelings of loss and grief are temporary — even though you may feel forever stuck in painful emotions. We all eventually heal and find ways to move forward with our lives.

If you are grieving a loss in your life, I encourage you to reach out to someone for support. If you know someone who is grieving, I hope you will reach out to them with words of love and encouragement. Great piece on grief and loss. This certainly resonates with me as I work in this area. Your points are terrific. Like you say, it is only in the Going Through it that we can Come Through it. Even without the Big losses — ie. Natural life progressions bring forth loss — ie. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Thank you so much Harriett. You are so right — going through so we can come through. I am sorry to hear that the past year was difficult for you. It is the loss and difficulties that are unexpected that makes it hard for you to deal with them. If you knew that loss and difficulties were coming in advance, you would be able to steel yourself in advance and prepare adequately for the onslaught. Speaking from personal experience, it takes immense courage to know what will happen in advance because we might be attached to a certain outcome.

But this foresight is necessary if we wish to steer our lives in the right direction.

Coping with Grief and Loss

While I may be very hard to surprise, disappointment still slows me down if I know things will not turn out as planned. I clearly need to work on my courage about knowing so I can take action earlier to remedy matters. Still, pain and grief has to be managed properly because change is the only constant in this life. Repressing pain and grief is never a good idea since they are part of the healing process. Just as a wound causes you great pain in the healing, so pain and grief is necessary for your emotional wound.

I feel that your six steps to move through grief and loss are excellent. Here are my thoughts on some of them. Knowing why you are grieving and feeling pain and loss is a vital first step. Without this awareness, your healing cannot proceed. Bottling up pain is never a good idea. There must be an outlet to avoid an explosion from the tension.

If you need to cry or talk or do whatever is necessary, do so. After hitting rock bottom as quickly as you can, the only way left is up. Having people to turn to for support at this stage is a great help to the healing process as well. The only point I have to add about dealing with grief and loss is perception. Loss or whatever you may be grieving about is a fact. But you still have an option about to perceive this fact. You can do so in a way that cripples or empowers you. I recall a story by Viktor Frankl the psychotherapist. While we were working with the tuning in stage, I was concerned that due to the depth of their sadness it could take several years before they would be ready to move out of their grief and begin to envision a new life.

I decided to meditate on their situation, and what came to me was the visual image of the subcontinent of India. Varanasi is known as a holy place where the dying go to prepare for death and where bodies are prepared for the traditional cremation and return to the sacred Ganges River. My logical, rational mind said, "Ron, that's crazy. Why would you send two grieving and suffering parents who have no spiritual connection to India, and who are Lutherans from the Midwest, to Varanasi, where they know no one and would see death and suffering all around them?

I discussed it with several of my colleagues who agreed it was a terrible idea but every morning when I meditated and connected to my intuition it kept telling me the same thing. Finally, one of my old teachers and mentors, Ram Dass, told me, "I think you may be on to something. They need to immerse themselves in their grief instead of denying it.

Where better to do that than India? In India, Mark and Selena connected with their grief as they observed the dead and dying, but at the same time, they started to feel a sense of connection to other people and to a world in which suffering is inevitable. While there they spent time working with a committed humanitarian in her facility for the poor.

A Grief Support Blog

She did not try to explain to Mark and Selena how they might handle their loss but instead invited them to join her in her everyday work of attending to the sick and dying. When they returned to the States, Mark and Selena told me they had finally begun to heal. The deep compassion that had been awakened in them had eased their grief, and they felt they'd transformed from suffering parents who had lost their children to people who reached out to other suffering parents.

They said they no longer felt quite so alone. Over the next few months, Mark and Selena continued their mindfulness meditation practice and began to move forward with their lives. Selena, who loved music returned to school to earn a master's degree and began working with children as a music therapist. Mark went back to his work as an electrician, but he now approached it in a very different way. When he consulted with clients, he suggested bold changes they hadn't considered and had more patience and compassion with them. In time, Mark and Selena adopted two special-needs children and had another child of their own.

They continued to talk about their children who died and kept photographs of them in their home, but they were able to creatively transform their tragedy into a new life with meaning and purpose. For those of us who are unable to take such radical steps here are six strategies from my book, Wise Mind, Open Mind to help you mindfully recover from a loss. Many of us admire people like Al Gore, who found his road to the White House suddenly blocked and chose to focus on educating people about global warming, and Christopher Reeve, who left acting behind after becoming a quadriplegic and went on to become a film director and advocate for those suffering from spinal cord injuries because they were able to let go of the past and transform their lives.

You too have the ability to tap into your inner courage, move forward with your life and even reinvent yourself. Ronald Alexander, PhD is a leadership consultant, psychotherapist, international trainer, and the Executive Director of the OpenMind Training Institute, a leading edge organization that offers personal and professional training programs in mind-body therapies, transformational leadership, and mindfulness.

He is the author of the widely acclaimed book Wise Mind, Open Mind:

How to Recover from Grief How to Recover from Grief
How to Recover from Grief How to Recover from Grief
How to Recover from Grief How to Recover from Grief
How to Recover from Grief How to Recover from Grief
How to Recover from Grief How to Recover from Grief
How to Recover from Grief How to Recover from Grief
How to Recover from Grief How to Recover from Grief
How to Recover from Grief How to Recover from Grief
How to Recover from Grief

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